How To Understand The Person In Front of You

Posted on August 17, 2009 | Leave a Comment

People are different in many ways, but they share 3 common qualities:

1. They agree or disagree with things.

2. The feel different emotions.

3. They talk and they listen and this is called communication.

So actually the task of understanding another person is to find out exactly that:

1. What does he or she agree or disagree with.

2. What does he or she like or dislike.

3. Use your communication skills to do the two above.

There is even a simple trick to make another person like you in an instant: find something that you like in that person and than honestly and with good friendly approach talk to him or her about that thing.

Now, in case you incidentally tapped the wrong thing and you encountered a negative emotion, like antagonism or worry, you can agree with the person and continue your conversation based on the new found agreement.

There is a cool video that shows these 3 components of mutual understanding called the ARC Triangle: